Take Back Your Life in Ten Steps

FILED IN on January 10, 2013 by Tony Schwartz | 17 comments

You're smart, hard-working and good at what you do, but the truth is you also too often feel your life is just a relentless set of demands you have to meet, and too rarely a source of satisfaction. You long to feel more in control of your days, but the reality is you're frequently racing just to keep up.

This is the story I hear over and over at every level in organizations, from first line managers all the way up to CEOs in large companies. I'm convinced it doesn't have to be this way, and that the solution has to do with deeply embedding a series of simple practices into your life.

I have ten in mind, but it's not realistic to add them all at once, assuming there are a number you don't currently do. Instead, I hope to lead you on a journey in which you add them one at a time, sequentially, over the coming months. You don't have to do all of them for your life to work really well, and even small changes will often deliver disproportionately large results. At the same time, it's likely that the more of these you eventually add, the better and more in charge of your life you'll feel.

Each month, starting in February, I'm going to offer a deeper dive blog here at HBR.org and a webinar on the Energy Project website about why each of the behaviors I describe below matter so much. I'll also offer very specific suggestions on how to build that behavior into your life, by ritualizing it, so you eventually do it automatically, without using much will or discipline, much the way you now brush your teeth at night, or show up for scheduled meetings during the day.

The suggestions are in order from the most basic and fundamental, to the highest level.

1. Get sufficient sleep every night. Sleep is often the single most undervalued behavior in our lives and the one with the most immediate power to improve our experience in every waking moment. If you sleep in the 6-6½ hour range, like the average American, just one more hour of sleep a night will leave you feeling more physically energized, emotionally resilient, and mentally clear.

2. Move more. It's not only good for your heart's health, but also for your mental health. Do some form of exercise that significantly raises your heart rate for 30 minutes at least four times a week and move frequently during the day.

3. Eat less, more often. Food is fuel. Lean proteins and complex carbohydrates are high-octane fuel. You're best off when you keep feeding your internal furnace in small doses throughout the day, beginning with breakfast.

4. Renew more. Human beings aren't designed to work continuously. We're meant instead to move between spending and renewing energy. Ideally, take a break every 90 minutes, even if only to spend a minute or two breathing deeply.

5. Invest in those you love. The greatest gift you can give is your absorbed attention. Better to be fully present with someone for an hour than physically present, but distracted, for multiple hours.

6. Give thanks. We're far quicker to notice what's wrong in our lives than we are what's right. At least once a week, hand write and mail a note of appreciation to someone who deserves it, telling the person precisely what you're grateful for.

7. Do the most important thing first. Early in the morning, you're likely to have the most energy, and the fewest distractions. Start your workday by focusing without interruption, for 60 to 90 minutes, on the most important and/or challenging task you can accomplish that day.

8. Practice reflection. We're so preoccupied with the urgent that we rarely take time to think about what it is we're doing. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes at the end of each work day (or in the evening) to reflect quietly and without interruption on what you learned that day, and what your highest priorities are for the following day.

9. Keep learning. Our brains work better if we challenge them, and life becomes more interesting when we do. Reading books is a simple and surefire way to learn and grow, but so is building a daily practice around learning a new language, a sport, a musical instrument, or around how to write code, fix a car, or draw.

10. Give back. Take at least one hour a week to put your own needs aside and devote that time instead to adding value to the world at large. One hour a week is very little time, but it's a start — and it's also more than most of us regularly give.

Reprinted from HBR.org

Please visit our webinars page for links to the upcoming Take Back Your Life in Ten Steps webinars. 

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All Comments
2. Let's be specific and narrow it down to resistance training and high intensity interval training maximum 4 times a week. 3. There is no proof for that. Our body is unable to use lean protein. Fat is essential for protein metabolism, otherwise it will turn to sugar! Carbohydrates are not essential - fats are. Keto adapted individuals don't have to eat every 3 hours and can concentrate on work not hunger strikes every hour or so. This kind of advice is what made America fat and sick. Everything is fat free but full of carbs. Eating complex carbohydrates doesn't change much.
by Lex
@ 2013/05/14 12:55:16 PM
This is a great, succinct blog to enable people to live well! I love this!
by Kathy O'Keeffe
@ 2013/04/11 10:50:08 PM
I've heard it takes approximately 21 days to develop a new habit. Once a New Hapbit is well-developed, it becomes your new Normal Behavior. If You Keep On Doing What You've Always Done, You'll Keep On Getting What You've Always Got. 1) Clearyly Identify a Bad or Unproductive Habit- Then study the habits of successful Role Models. 2) Define a NEW Successful Habit to replace the Bad Habit with. 3) Make a decision about what specific actions you are going to implement. TAKE ACTION.Start with one habit that you really want to change and put them into practice NOW! Remember, Nothing will change until you do. (This is from the book; 'The Power of Focus'
by Kristine
@ 2013/04/11 12:30:03 PM
I'm working my way through your latest book and have read your previous one. I look forward to following this blog series. The big question is how to help individuals develop new habits and how to help them break "bad" ones. How does one build conviction to make a change. Perhaps small changes, which might not require big conviction will be part of the answer. Bring it on! Dave
by Dave Galloway
@ 2013/02/26 08:10:05 PM
Even though we've heard these before, it's a good reminder of how we need to thrive on a daily basis. Thank you.
by Olga
@ 2013/02/26 02:57:39 PM
Nice list of 10 and especially want to work on #8 Practice Reflection, to take note of what it is I am doing. Taking that short time to really review the day to celebrate learnings and then move on to next day opportunities and priorities is such a nice, positive idea toards a meaningful reflection step. Thanks!
by Laura
@ 2013/02/26 01:12:49 PM
Sounds good but consistency of some suggestions might be problematic.
@ 2013/02/08 07:27:33 AM
I have seen that the more we do to keep pace with the changign world, the more restless we are getting. This is because, there is always something that we need to do, and somebody doing it better than us. That pushes us to do more, and more often. A surefire recipe to feel dissatisfied. I feel that one important step we can take is to stop the "do, do do..." and just "Be". For once. If nothing else, it will help us to see the larger picture, and help us put our lives back into gear.
by Kalpana
@ 2013/01/27 05:23:12 AM
It's so good to see such easy-to-do strategies listed here as a way of enhancing not only our performance at work, but as a way of leading a more meaningful life. I love the fact that these strategies are entirely within my control to implement. I hadn't thought too much about the value in investing time learning new things. At my daughter's primary school, one of the values they instil in young children is 'life-long learning'. What a great concept, for children and adults alike.
@ 2013/01/23 06:20:05 AM
This is outstanding! And, what a great resource this is - for everyone! KOK
by Kathy
@ 2013/01/20 10:31:21 PM
Ashok, the research states that 95 per cent of people need 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Only 2.5 per cent of people need less than 7 hours of sleep, while 2.5 per cent of people need more than 8 hours of sleep to be fully rested.
by admin
@ 2013/01/21 05:04:53 PM
Tony I've a question for you.I agree about the importance of sleep but I feel it cann't be the same number of hours for everyone.Like quantity of food it is totally subjective---i may need 6 hours of sleep to feel recharged but you may need 8 hours.
by Ashok Heryani
@ 2013/01/18 02:47:39 AM
Ashok, the research states that 95 per cent of people need 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Only 2.5 per cent of people need less than 7 hours of sleep, while 2.5 per cent of people need more than 8 hours of sleep to be fully rested.
by admin
@ 2013/01/21 05:13:10 PM
I really love what you've outlined here- especially the part about reflection. While it is a challenge to step off the treadmill, I'm sure the benefits are great. The 10 items are going to be my challenge for this year(at least). Thanks for such sane advice- I appreciate your website and find it useful for sharing with teachers in the schools that I work with.
by Christine Riddy
@ 2013/01/15 02:14:21 PM
Thanks Tony for bringing these simple elements back into focus. Great info as usual.
by Adam
@ 2013/01/14 04:22:22 PM
Excellent summary - I look forward to the future posts!
by Jim
@ 2013/01/11 08:24:47 AM
this sounds like the advice from Why People Fail....two books with the same info must mean there is some effectiveness in it. Goal setting is key - have to know what your aiming for so you know where your headed
by lisa
@ 2013/01/10 05:31:59 PM