October 2011 - The Energy Project

Overcoming Negativity

Do you have a colleague or a boss that consistently drives you crazy - someone who belittles you, takes credit for your work, acts superior, or constantly puts you down?

It's easy to cast yourself in the role of victim and let people like this dictate the course of your day. If there are negative people around you, then your own negative feelings and behaviors are not your own fault. The problem is that by ceding that responsibility to others, you also give up the power to influence your emotions. We have far more control over how we feel than we normally recognize or exercise.

The first step totaking control is to become more aware of how we're feeling at any given time. The second challenge is learning to intentionally cultivate positive emotions to increase our emotional resilience. Find some great tips below for dealing with negativity at work by looking at the world through different lenses, and by regularly renewing your emotional energy.

The Energy Project Team

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PS. Don't miss the second webinar in our fall Energizing You and Your Organization. webinar series, How to Thrive Despite Bad Bosses and Difficult Colleagues, today at 1pm ET. Register now!

The Secret to Dealing with Difficult People: It's About You

Our core emotional need is to feel valued and valuable. When we don't, it's deeply unsettling, a challenge to our sense of equilibrium, security, and well-being. At the most primal level, it can feel like a threat to our very survival.

We can’t change what happens to us, but we can make a choice about how to respond. Challenge the story you’re telling yourself when something happens that makes you feel bad. Is there a more hopeful and empowering story you can tell without denying the facts?
In a negative interaction, try putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and imagine what he or she is feeling. Empathy allows you to value others which reconnects you to them and makes you feel better.
Make a list of activities that you enjoy most and which make you feel best. Intentionally schedule at least one of these activities into your life each week.

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"It takes less than ninety seconds for lymbic system programs to be triggered, surge throughout the body, and then be completely flushed out of our systems. If you stay angry after ninety seconds, it's because you've chosen to stay angry.

Jill Bolte Taylor,
Author,
My Stroke of Insight

Looking at life through different lenses helps put situations into perspective and in turn, decrease negative feelings associated with them. Read Tony's recent blog for more on lenses.